Rejection is a part of everyday life. Romance, career and employment avenues, admission to that coveted university…rejection can happen in a hundred other.
Unfortunately many people do not possess a mindset that can process rejections in the right and healthy spirit. Ironically enough for achieving success or any lasting happiness in the long run it is imperative to have the right attitude in terms of accepting and dealing with rejections.
According to psychiatrists it is important to not feel worthless after a rejection or even a series of rejections. There are ofcourse inspiring examples of people who have had the courage and mental strength to achieve their goals after facing rejections. "However it is important to understand that while having a persistent an optimistic approach helps, one should not hanker after things or situations that are beyond one's control," says N Phukan a Guwahati based psychiatrist. "For instance one should gracefully reconcile to romantic rejection and not take it personally," he explains.
It is important to understand that while having a persistent an optimistic approach helps, one should not hanker after things or situations that are beyond one's control
With career goals, academic goals etc however fortitude and the ability to be thick skinned in the face of initial rejections is a must. The inability to deal with or handle rejection should be taken as a serious concern. After all some people give up completely on their lives while few others even claim their own lives owing to a single rejection.
Generally people who have good self esteem and do not require frequent validation from others have a better ability to deal with rejections. "Having a pragmatic approach often helps while dealing with rejections" says Phukan and concludes, "People who constantly compare themselves with others cannot digest rejection easily. Also I would personally advice people to cultivate multiple interests in their life because I have observed in my clinical practice that people who have varied interests are generally not prone to any major depressive episode if a particular (sometimes even very cherished) goal or dream does not work out. Last but definitely not the least having a good mentor or trusted confidant always helps while handling rejection."
Phukan also reiterates that the ability or inability to handle rejection actually starts from a very young age and hence parents have a huge role in terms of teaching/helping their children to cope with rejections. He feels that when children are denied certain things (on account of logical reasons) parents should always explain the reasons behind the denial. "Often small children process denial in the same way in which teenagers and adults process rejection. Hence childhood is actually the right stage to start learning the skills in terms of handling/dealing with rejection," shares a child counsellor on condition of anonymity.